SHOW NOTES

Welcome back to the Disney Magical Mindset Podcast, where we take the wisdom of Walt and the magic of Disney and apply it to our own lives. I’m Ruben, your Disney Magic Mentor, and today I’m really excited about this episode because we’re diving into something I know you’ve experienced before and maybe you’re experiencing now the unnecessary expectations you carry by trying to control what others do think or say about you. Woo, today we’re going to learn how to stop wasting our energy on things we can’t control. Today, you’re going to take back your power by freeing yourself from all the negativity you’ve been storing up trying to please others. I want you to remember this before we go any further. You can’t control what happens to you or what others say about you, but you can control how you respond. This is the power that you have and this is the power you give away. When you focus so much on what others say that it stops you from doing you. Do you hear me? Give people the freedom to say negative things about you and watch your internal power, confidence, freedom and magic soar. Oh, I’m so pumped. Today I can’t wait to share with you one of the most powerful, powerful mindset principles. This is a game changer right here, and it happens every time you step into Disneyland or the Magic Kingdom Something so subtle yet incredibly powerful. It’s called the berm, and we’re going to talk about how you can build your own personal berm in life to protect your happiness, block out negativity and step into your own magical world. You know why? Because you deserve it. You deserve to restore the power that was lost by giving it to someone else and caring too much about what others think of you. It’s gonna end today. Plus, we’ll connect it to a powerful mindset shift from Mel Robbins called the Let them Theory. Trust me, this one’s gonna be an episode you wanna go back to often, so let’s jump in and get ready to experience another level of a magical mindset. Are you ready? Because here we go.

Okay, let’s start with Disneyland. I want you to meet me at Disneyland. All right, we just got to the park with some friends. We’re about to step through the gates into Disneyland and as you walk in, of course, you see Floral Mickey, the beautiful colors. Right, everything is just going to be awesome. You know it’s going to be a great day, and now you have one of the most important decisions to make left or right? No, I’m just kidding. Which way do you go? Left or right? I usually go to the right, so let’s go to the right.

And as you make your way closer to Main Street, you know you’re about to pass through a tunnel. And before you pass that tunnel, you read those beautiful words from Walt here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy. It hits you. You’ve just stepped into another world. All the worries, the cares, cares, the negativity, the stuff that you experience out there, like it’s gone.

And for however long you’re going to be in Disneyland. You know it’s going to be the best day of your life, but I need you to stay right here. I know you want to go on some rides. I know you want to sit on a bench there on Main Street. You want to soak up all the beautiful music and the smells and the people watching, and you’re just ready to go right. Rope drop, if you’re a rope dropper like me. We’re going to go to Peter Pan’s flight or wherever you want to go. Now, this is your day. I’m going to be there to support you. Whatever you want to do, want to go Now, this is your day.

I’m going to be there to support you. Whatever you want to do, but before we go any further, I need you to just stay right here with me under the berm, in the tunnel. We’re just going to sit right here and we’re going to talk about one of the most powerful things you pass every time you go to Disneyland. Now you, me and our friends, we’re sitting there in the tunnel and I know you’re looking at me like, okay, what are we doing here, ruben? What do you have to say? So just hang in there with me, because the tunnel that you and me are sitting in and we walk through every time to get to Main Street is part of a carefully designed 20-foot high earthen berm that surrounds the park, with the Disneyland Railroad running along the top.

I want you to see the imagination, creativity and brilliance of Walt. He knew that in order to fully immerse people in the magic, they had to step into another world, which is why we feel this way every single time we go. He didn’t want guests seeing highways, buildings or anything from the outside world. So when you’re in Disneyland or the Magic Kingdom, you’re part of the magic, you’re part of the story and you just stepped onto the most magical stage of your life. In fact, imagineer Herb Ryman once said that Walt wanted guests to enter Disneyland under hypnosis, a place where reality fades away and magic takes over. You feel that way. Walt knew what he was doing.

That berm does something powerful, doesn’t it? It blocks out distractions visually, aurally and emotionally. The moment you pass through the tunnel, the outside world disappears and suddenly you’re in Walt’s magic kingdom. You are the magic and you just stepped into the greatest show of your life. Okay, we’re still in the tunnel. Hang in there.

I know you want to go, but I’m about to drop on you one of the greatest magical mindset principles, and you will never walk through the tunnel or look at the berm the same way. In fact, it will change the way you enter Disneyland and you leave Disneyland. Woo, come on now. Watch this, watch this. What if I told you that you have your own personal Disneyland berm? That’s right. Think about it.

Life is full of distractions opinions, noise, drama, expectations I’m getting tired just saying it. People telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, and if you let all that in, it’s impossible to focus on your dreams, your joy, your very own magic. In fact, you can’t do it because all the noise gets so loud that it drowns out what’s really important in your life, what’s really important, which is you and the things that you have planned and the goals that you want to achieve and the dreams that you want to see come true. But you can’t do that if you waste your time and energy thinking about what others think of you. And, just like Walt built a berm to keep the magic inside Disneyland, you can build an internal berm to protect your peace, which is why I keep saying always you are the magic, because the magic is in you. You can choose what gets in and what stays out.

You may not be able to control what happens to you or what others say about you, but you can control how you frame it, how you respond, how you react or, in this case, how you berm it. And this is one of the most powerful magical mindset lessons that I have ever experienced and I love Watch this. This is how cool Walt is and how awesome Disneyland is. This is one of the first things, one of the first life lesson, magical truths that you find when you go to Disneyland. Isn’t it fitting that the very first life principle like one of the best principles that you could ever take away and apply to your life about the berm and your internal berm is actually the thing that you walk through and you experience at the very beginning of your time at Disneyland. Wow, my goodness, this is too good. It’s too good.

I feel like I have to stop here, but we can’t, because it’s so amazing the way that Walt thought of the power of a berm, and I want you to know that the berm is not just something you experience in Disneyland, but you get to experience it internally yourself every day of your life. You have a built-in personal berm, because here’s the thing you and me all right, we’re done from the tunnel. Now, I know you hung in there with me. I appreciate it. So now we’re going to go and we’re off on Main Street and as we’re walking Main Street, somebody in our party, our friend group, is going to decide where we’re going and we’re all going to go together. So, wherever you want to go, that’s where we’re going and we’re going to have the best day of our lives. You already know, but you also know that at some point we have to leave. I wish we can stay there, spend the night in Disneyland. You know, give me a sleeping bag, I’ll sleep on Main Street, but we got to go.

But here’s what doesn’t have to go your peace, your joy, your happiness. You get to take that with you and you don’t have to allow anyone to steal that joy, to take your peace. Remember what we’ve been saying you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you frame it, and the way you frame it or berm it will dictate how you respond and behave. Which leads me to an incredibly powerful mindset shift from Mel Robbins called the Let them Theory. It’s simple, but it’s life-changing, and here’s how it works when someone does something that normally would bother you, or says something about you that hurts you, or does something that just irritates you. You know we have all those experiences and we do it as well. You know what I mean.

And so maybe they’re negative, they doubt you, they don’t support your dreams. You say two simple but powerful words Let them my goodness, it’s so freeing to even say that. It feels good to even say that Just let them. Let them doubt you, let them judge you, let them talk about you, let them misunderstand you. Why? Because their opinions don’t change who you are. You don’t need their approval. You don’t need their approval, you don’t need their validation. If you need that validation, it’s because you don’t believe in your own validation, because you don’t believe in what you’re telling yourself. So you don’t need other people to tell you something about yourself that you should already know. Or if they tell you something that’s not true, then why spend time on listening to something that’s not even true anyway?

The one powerful thing that was many things that I learned from this book from Mel Robbins is that you cannot control people or change them. No matter what you try to do, it is impossible to change or control someone. So instead of wasting your energy on trying to change their mind or trying to win their approval, don’t Stop worrying about other people’s opinion of you. Stop wasting your energy on something you can’t control anyway. So give people the freedom to think what they want. Let them talk behind my back. Why am I going to waste my time and energy trying to change their thoughts about me or their opinions of me? I can’t control that, but I tell you what I can control. I can control me, I can control Ruben, and every time I give in to other people’s opinion of me, I’m releasing my power or I’m giving away my power to others when I wasted on them. People will have negative opinions about you, and there is nothing you can do to change this fact. It’s a reality.

When you allow your fear of what other people think to stop you from doing what you want to do, you become a prisoner to the other people’s opinion, and that has to change, because you’re too valuable, you’re too important, you have too much to offer this world. You have dreams and goals and visions and ambitions, and you can’t get there if you constantly worry about what others think of you. Don’t allow them to hijack your happiness. So let them. Let them talk about you. Let them have the freedom to have their own opinion about you. Yeah, let them make fun of you for going to Disneyland or Disney World or being a Disney adult. Let them stop getting in fights and arguments with family members over things you don’t agree with. Things are so polarized in this world as it is. We don’t need more division, we need less. So let them.

The more control you give up, the more power you gain, giving other people the space to live their lives, and you live yours. You do you. Now. You can’t stop at let them. There’s one more thing you got to do. You have to say let me, Let me take ownership of my own choices. Remember, I can’t control what other people think of me, but I can control how I respond. Right, let me keep going. Let me follow my dreams. Let me decide what brings me joy. Let me believe that I don’t need someone else’s approval to keep doing what I believe I need to do. Just like Walt didn’t ask for permission to build Disneyland the way he envisioned it, you don’t need permission to build your own happiest place on earth either. Do you hear me? You do not. Oh, I get too excited. I just want to help you. I want you to unlock the magic that’s in you and just thrive and find the peace and the joy and the happiness and your happiest place on earth, because you deserve it.

My wife and kids we’re in the process of moving right now, and you know how crazy that can be. We have boxes all over. We’re actually moving in the same area, but it’s just time, because it’s so expensive and so, in an effort to get ahead, we were planning to move in with my parents temporarily. It’s just an opportunity to save some money. We want to buy a home, so we were going to go back with my parents for a little bit because he’s also trying to save money and get ahead as well.

And he sent me a text message about one month ago, knowing that we were planning to move in with my mom and dad, and he basically said in the text message that he didn’t think it was a good idea for me and my wife and kids to move in. We’re a family of four. He gave me all these reasons of why he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to move in and when I read that text I have to share that I was so hurt but I was also angry. You know, I was really frustrated. I was like who does my brother think he is? He’s not my mom or dad. How can he tell us not to move in? Or he didn’t think it was a good idea. Now, later he did apologize and he took back everything that he said. I sensed that he was very sorrowful, but it still was painful and it still hurt.

My mom ended up reaching out and trying to convince us to come. I appreciate you, mom, I love you, but you know how moms do. They want to fix things and make it right, but in the end, we chose not to move in with them and we decided to move in with my mother-in-law. And here’s why I’m saying this, here’s why I’m sharing this Let them, let him. I had to let him. Let them say what he said about me and not moving in Now.

Whether I agreed or disagreed with his reasoning, that wasn’t the point. Let him. I’m not going to waste my time spending energy on things I can’t control. So let him. And here’s the power. Here’s where I took back the power After I said let them or let him, let me, let me control my response and my reaction.

I could get angry. I can tell my wife and kids we’re not going to go visit the family anymore. I can be bent out of shape. Or I can say let me, let me control what I can’t control, which is Reuben. I’m not going to allow this situation to hinder my love and my relationship to my family. Do you hear me? Let them, let me. I love what Mel Robbins says. When you say, let them, you make a conscious decision to not let others’ behavior bother you. When you say, let me to not let others’ behavior bother you. When you say, let me, you take responsibility for what you do next. So let’s bring this all together.

Disneyland’s berm creates a magical boundary that protects the park from distractions. Your personal berm does the same thing. It blocks out negativity and lets you stay focused on your joy and the let them theory. That’s the key to strengthening your berm. Instead of reacting, getting frustrated or letting negativity in, just say let them and then say let me. Let me stay focused on what I can control my actions. My response my happiness. Let me stay focused on what I can’t control my actions. My response my happiness. Let me keep moving forward. Let me step into my own magic.

Walt built Disneyland because he had a vision. People doubted him, people told him it wouldn’t work, but he didn’t let them stop him. He let them say what they wanted and he built the berm. He protected the dream. Go ahead, walt. And now millions of people experience that magic every year. You have the same power in your own life. So here’s my challenge for you this week Start noticing where you need to build your own berm. Where are you letting negativity in? Where do you need to build your own berm? Where are you letting negativity in? Where do you need to say let them and let me, and focus on your own magic instead. If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it. Tag me on social media, let me know your thoughts and let’s keep building a life filled with Disney magic. Until next time, keep dreaming, keep believing and remember you are the magic, because the magic is in you.